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I have been staring at an empty document trying to come up with something to write about for two months I feel like. I have too many ideas when I am away from the computer then forget when I finally sit down and dedicate time to writing. Then I think I have nothing to offer but God has been sharing so much with me during this season of life and I decided that I am going to share that with you.

I have been reading Genesis for awhile now and something that stands out is how time and time again God is faithful and keeps His promises. Despite our lack of faith and despite the fact that we want things to happen like now. Abraham wanted to have children but Sarah was barren . . God said that Abraham will be the father of nations, but Abraham did not believe so he went and had a baby with Sarah’s servant Haggar, fast forward a couple chapters . . now Abraham and Sarah have a kid and he has been blessed by God, and Haggai and her son had to flee (fact check that). 

When we don’t trust God other people may get hurt. That hits a little too close to home for me. I don’t think I ever trusted God when it came to my love life. I knew that God put the desires to be married and have a family in my heart. I knew that that was Him promising me that I will be married and we will make our marriage a ministry and my husband would have the same values as me. However, I had no faith that that man even existed. So I took things into my own hands, I ended up hurting people and compromised too much of myself for people God never wanted me to be with to begin with. That ended up hurting me in ways that I will never forget but I hurt those people because I did not trust God’s plan for my life. Because of Abraham and Sarah’s decision Haggar’s life was forever changed, God still redeemed that situation and spoke to Haggar and He helped keep her and her son alive in the desert. As for my story . . .

Over and over again I did not trust God and ended up with the wrong men (what I mean by that is that they were not meant for me and I them). I even believe God spoke to me about walking away from relationships but I was too scared to be alone for the rest of my life. I started to believe that I did not deserve the man God had me dreaming about. I didn’t listen to Him and that ended up making the breakups even harder than they needed to be. Me feeling more rejected or more disappointed and also wasting so much time because that meant I would have to start over again. Build up another relationship and work that much harder to find the one. If only I had listened to God then maybe I would have met Caleb sooner . . . If I had listened to God sooner than maybe I would have avoided hurting more people or suffering myself . . if only . . God is bigger than my “what if”s He is so much bigger than that. I am so lucky to have such a Mighty God on my side. He turns sorrow and pain into redemption. I believe that with my whole heart, my story is not done yet and neither are those men.

Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised, Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.

Genesis 21:1-2

I am engaged to a man who shares so many of the same values as me, he wants the same future as me. We are both passionate about marriage and want to strive to be living representations of Christ’s love for the church and the church’s submission to Christ. We are not perfect by all means but God promised me a man that was so passionate about marriage, He promised me a man that loved family and so many other things . . and boy did He deliver. Was it all that I expected, no I could not have thought all this up in my wildest dreams. When I met Caleb I was not ready for another relationship, I wanted so much for that summer at Glorieta (If you do not know how we met, click here ). But definitely not another relationship, however God had other plans. Sounds kind of like Abraham and Sarah, they did not think that God would provide them with a son who would one day rule nations at their old age!! They were hopeless, she was well passed the age to have the patience to raise a child much less give birth to a baby!! But God provided, He kept His word and Isaac ended up ruling nations. Do not worry friends, God is not done with you yet and do not lose hope that God had forgotten what He has promised you. I assure you He has not forgotten.

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