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Relationship

Our Relationship

Hey guys, it’s Kendall!! Today is our one year anniversary…and we had the idea that we should write and share how we came to be us…

For those of you who do not know already I spent the summer of 2019 at Glorieta camps in New Mexico. That would have been my second year working at that camp. I worked in the same department and had the same bosses, but this year was different. I was able to help in different departments. I love camp!! If you are interested in learning more about that camp life, let me know. Make sure to comment with any questions you might have. 

The thing about Caleb is that he is super shy and does not talk very much at first. When we met I took that as he thought he was better than everybody else since he was part of the full-time staff. He was always gone when we were training or when we were just hanging out and getting to know the people we were gonna be working with. I thought he just didn’t want to get to know us or hang out with us. Of course that just wasn’t the case, he was actually working (lol). I didn’t pay him much attention until I realized that he was actually being shy. We ended up being in the same department most of the summer. I learned very quickly that he does like to talk and sing and be loud (which is my kind of person ;)). We were always together, he quickly became my best friend. He cared for the staff like I did, he cared for the kids like I did, and he worked hard. You are probably thinking by this point that we are basically the same person right?? Well you would be wrong…we are very different, and here’s why.

Caleb sucks at communicating, and he knows it. We would talk about that a lot. I learned that he talks about superficial stuff, but doesn’t talk about deep stuff very much. But he thinks deeply (even though he doesn’t think he does); however I love talking about deep stuff. That is my favorite thing to talk about, I think a lot and just want someone to listen to me and keep up. He had no problem keeping up. He listens very well, and I can tell that what I say will resonate in him, he just wouldn’t share it with me. For a while I thought he just didn’t want to have that sort of friendship with me (which would have been fine). It turns out he was just scared. Once I realized that, I just waited for him. I shared my life with him and my struggles and just waited for him to be ready. I kept trying and gently nudging him until he was ready…he has gotten so much better at telling me how he feels about things. 

Another thing that made us very different was that he was a scaredy cat when it came to just about everything. On tuesdays my boss would take us out and explore the city or just do something for fun after work. One week we were in Lake Havasu Arizona (beautiful place!!), this was my second time going there. In the past when we have gone, we would go cliff jumping!! I went last time, but thought that was enough for me. However, Caleb had not gone cliff jumping there before. I told him he had to. He told me that I had to in order for him to go…so I went. I was also nursing a very small thumb injury at the time (I think I dislocated it) but did it anyway. It took a lot of convincing to get him to actually do it…but he did!! I was so proud of him for doing that. Another time we were going to watch fireworks in Santa Fe with the team, it was a party. There was a live band and so me and my other friends would sing and dance and have a good time. He on the other hand just kind of bopped to the beat until I convinced him to sing and dance until the fireworks started!! Last story I will share.. He can play guitar. He is actually really good at it, I love when he plays for me. He didn’t think he was very good; while we were still at camp another department wanted him to play guitar for the kids and have a worship night. He kept saying no, he didn’t think he would be good enough. I would tell him it doesn’t matter whether you are good or not, it’s not about that, it’s about worshipping the Lord. After another few days of convincing him to do it…he eventually did!! And he was great!! 

One last thing made us very different…he had been a christian his whole life. I have only been a christian for about 5 years now. Despite being raised very differently we still had the same values, but I had never met someone like him. He was honest about who he is and he never tried to be someone else. He has his struggles but he was trustworthy, he was/is a true man chasing after God. I have been in some not so great relationships, pre-Jesus and after coming to know Him. But Caleb…he was different. He has a deep relationship with God and he lives to be more like Him. He has this presence about him, I wasn’t the only one to notice that either. I loved working with him because he was just so at peace with things and he projected that. He was also just so full of light, a light no one could take away even when things were hard the light just never went away. 

Last summer we grew so much, I could tell by the way Caleb carried himself that he was growing in his faith and becoming even more of a man that not only feared the Lord but wanted to live like Jesus. I started falling in love with him…for so many reasons. Most of all because of how much he loves God and chases after Him with everything he has.

Caleb ended up leaving city camp early and so before he left, I told him how I felt about him. I felt God tugging at my heart to be honest with Caleb. He didn’t say anything once I told him (lol); I didn’t need him to. I told him and that was it…the next day he told me how he felt about me…he liked me. I did not want to start something during summer so we made it official sometime near Thanksgiving or something like that. The reason we want to celebrate it now is because God did something in us that day. We had the guts to open up about our feelings and not really knowing how the other person would take it, we had to rely solely on God and His plan. I think that is worth celebrating.

Fitness

Fitness Goals 2023

INTRO: I have exercised since high school when I was a scrawny little youngin. I enjoyed the idea of pushing myself and had fun doing it. BUT, I didn’t feel like it got me anywhere. It is 2023 officially (as of 2 weeks ago) and I have worked at 3 gyms. That is potentially over 6 years of some form of weight training. I have hit seasons of plateaus, months of no working out, and years of wanting to get bigger but “not being able to eat enough”. This year I am coming in with specific goals and am going to achieve them no matter what!

I want to challenge myself. I want to be a well-rounded dude, healthy in each aspect of my life. I know aspects of wellness and general health can be intertwined and build off of each other. I want to be my best in each area. Mentally, Spiritually, Physically, Relationally, and Emotionally.

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”

Jerry Rice

I am about to begin my time as a student teacher and don’t know how I am going to continue but I know I will. Maybe it’s just me but when I picture a teacher, I tend to think of somebody who can be any age, but they look older than they are. They also tend to look unamused or sad in general. Do they have time outside of school, planning, and grading to work on themselves? I think life is too short to not. Right? Maybe this is me projecting my fears of overwhelming stress onto teachers?

The Why

  • General Health
  • Energy
  • Athletic Performance
  • Aesthetics (😏)

With four brothers that are all competitive and a constant desire to be healthy, I have been very blessed with good general health. I am 24 years old now and want to continue to build healthy habits and set myself up for continued healthy life. 

I don’t want to grow up and be lazy (although I do feel that way more often than I’d like to admit). I honestly want to be a highly energetic adult who is always down to clown. Whether that be disc golf or spikeball with friends, a random workout with Kendall, or wrestling my kids one day, I want to be energetic.

I love to mess around with my brothers and friends and want to stay on top of my “game”. I want to have the feeling of being capable of anything. I already WHOOP everybody in whatever I do and I want to keep it that way. On a more serious note, I have never really challenged myself in this way, and think it will be fun.

Lastly… the looks. I’ve always been skinny but eventually got toned. Now is the first time I will seriously try to put on some weight. I know what I want to look like and think it would be an enjoyable project to work on my physical body in this way.

God blessed me with this body and he dwells with me. My body is a temple and is not my own so I strive to take care of it. What better way than exercising, eating well, drinking lots of water, and getting good sleep?!

The How

I am NOT a personal trainer myself. I have not taken courses or anything like that. BUT, I have worked at several gyms. I have had seasons of deep research into the health and fitness world. Many of my friends are personal trainers and I often work out with them. Others around me ask for information or if I can build their workouts.

DIET: My diet will be mostly clean (whole or “healthy” foods, not things like pizza). I am aiming to gain weight so I would have a calorie surplus every day. I will be eating roughly 3,400 calories a day. I could eat a little less.. But I want to be sure to gain weight. This number is also set so if I miscalculate the amount I consume, I should still be in a surplus. I will also be drinking lots of water. That should always be the case. I will add a list of foods to eat at a later date.

EXERCISE: My workouts will change month to month and sometimes vary a little each week. I will be doing weight training 3-4 days a week and more endurance-based, fun exercises 2-3 times a week. This could be CrossFit WODs, swimming, sports, etc. This will help burn some fat from all the food as well as make the process more enjoyable. Gotta have time to play! I will add the workouts in this blog at a later date.

REST: I tend to be an early bird. I have no issues going to bed early and waking up early. Muscle growth is stimulated when you workout, fueled when you eat, and happens when you sleep! I typically get 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Mentally I believe I thrive off of 7.

Progress Pics

There are a lot of ways to track your progress. I personally enjoy looking at other people’s progress pics. Seeing the physical difference can make people sooo so proud. I will track my weight weekly but am also going to be doing progress pics. Please be respectful, I am trying! Some of these early pictures are crazy to me even now. I am already much further than I used to be and excited to see what is to come.

2018 /// All about 130-135lbs
2020 /// ~140 lbs
January 2023 /// 140 lbs
2023 GOAL /// 150lbs 8% body fat by June —> 160lbs 8%body fat by December

Work In Progress

I am excited to see what will happen this year. Excited. To challenge myself in this way. I do know some stuff about fitness but not everything so if you have any tips, words of wisdom, or encouragement, feel free to send them my way!

Sincerely,

Caleb 🙂

Personal

The Lucky One

  • by Caleb U

If you keep up on our blog posts, I hope you feel like you have a glimpse into Kendall and I’s lives. I know she loves writing. As she writes more and more, not only do they get better, but you can also see her heart behind her words. You get a glimpse into what is happening in our lives at that moment, not just a topic we wanted to study.

I get the honor of reading and helping Kendall edit some of her posts before they are officially published, and I am amazed. If this blog is nothing more than a journal for us, it’s important to note: I am the lucky one.

We started out at a distance, finally made it to the same place, are now preparing for a wedding and life together. We are learning what the “real world” looks like (as all the old folks say). We are setting out to become our own. We have so many questions and try to spend a large chunk of time figuring out what is right or best for us. From insurance and phone carriers to what state do we live in and how much should we spend on rent.

I am The Lucky One. As we work to discover what God has for us, I am continually amazed by Kendall. She knows exactly what I need to hear and how to break things down for me. Life can seem overwhelming with all of these ideas weighing us down, where do we even begin. How do we figure all this out but also try and slow down (Like we talk about in this post)? Kendall has a way to slow the world down and make it feel like it doesn’t all need to be figured out.

I am The Lucky One. Kendall is such a hard worker. While we feel inadequate and fearful of life’s expenses, Kendall’s character continues to shine. She decided the best thing she could possibly do was to work 3 weeks straight with no off days… several of those days were over 8 hours long. While this is too much and she needs rest, the heart behind it and her willingness is amazing.

I am The Lucky One. As we create the life that we want to live and define the things that are important to us for the future, we continuously learn. Somehow, someway, Kendall is able to learn about things (things like rest, photography, sustainability, you name it) in a ridiculously quick amount of time. And not just the basics, she dives in and sees what God says, how to practice or do these things, then she lives them out like a total #boss.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31: 10 – 12

I am The Lucky One. There are so many reasons I might go into one day. But for now just know this: I made a detailed list of what I want in a wife a while back, and I mean very detailed, and she checks off every box. Not just a little check, but a big, fat, green one.

Thank you Kendall Lexia for choosing to be mine and giving me the honor of being by your side for the rest of life. I love you most.

Mental

Hustle Up… Slow Down

Alright now that you understand all the reflection that has been going on lately I am going to talk about something a little heavy. A little honest, and for sure a lot hard.

So this month Caleb and I went home (to Houston which is where I am from) and visited my family. My niece was turning one so we wanted to be there to celebrate and also be there for my sister as this was a milestone for her and her husband. Was it a stress free, relaxing trip?? In some ways it was for sure. In others, not so much. However it was just what I needed. It was out of the ordinary and I did not have to work at all!! It was hard when I had to say goodbye, but knew I would see some of my family again really soon so left hopeful for the next visit. During this time though Caleb and I felt like decisions had to be made and they had to be made quickly. Important ones, like where are we going to live?? Who is going to be working?? What happens if we get pregnant unexpectedly?? How are we going to be able to afford our life?? etc. All things that felt almost crippling to us. I mean I just finished a season of working nonstop for weeks, I was drowning and feeling empty and knew that this was not the life God wanted for me or for us. I was desperate for a break, and oh did He give me one, but not in the ways that I was expecting.

Once I got back from our trip I felt refreshed. This was not what I was expecting to feel, especially since we had been in the car entirely too long and felt more defeated about all the decisions we still needed to make. But we had absolutely no idea where to begin with these decisions. Over the course of the coming days God had been working on both of our hearts, telling us the very same thing but the other person had no idea. And that was … the importance of slowing down. God showed me as I was reflecting on what sustainability means to me for an upcoming blog post and He showed Caleb through a podcast that he listens too.

For me I was just sitting on my bed thinking about some things I could cut out of my life that I do not need and it just hit me. I cannot seem to remember when I had time to just sit on my bed and think, it was so peaceful and so calming. I felt the Lord’s presence and was comforted, I tear up every time I think of that moment. Why does something so simple and mundane make me so emotional?? Because it reminded me of where I was before that, it reminded me how lonely I felt during those times of working non stop, and how hopeless I felt that I would never reach the goals I set in my life. But in that moment on my bed I felt the Lord telling me that it was okay, this is not the life He has for me. He never meant for me to live this kind of lifestyle especially on my own.. as comforting as it would be to have all the answers for Caleb and I’s future it is not something God wants to reveal to us yet. And that within itself was so freeing, because that lifts up the burdens that we put on ourselves.

Something that I love so much about Caleb is that he likes to dream, and the really cool thing is that I love to dream too!! It does however make things so hard when we are trying to figure out where we are going to live or what our dream jobs are and how we are possibly going to reach our HUGE goals we are setting for ourselves. To make things even more amazing is that we trust God with those big dreams we have for ourselves, I used to keep my dreams to myself because they were just too big. There was no way that any of my dreams would ever come true… however one of them is about to come true!! IN 4 MONTHS I WILL MARRY MY BEST FRIEND!! That within itself has been a dream for as long as I could possibly remember. You cannot possibly tell me that God is too small for the big dreams that you might have. He has proven to me over and over again that He is a BIG God and He can do the impossible. You just have to trust Him.

Nothing has been decided, we still have no idea where we are going to end up, but I am so happy where I am. I am actively slowing down, trying to live a more simple life. In time God will provide us with the answers we need. We just need to trust Him and keep trusting Him. I love you guys and hope you take some time to rest and reflect on where you are and where God might need you to be.

Non-toxic

What does sustainability mean to me ??

Hello everyone, welcome back to the blog!! Today I am going to talk about what sustainability means to me. This is a subject I have been so passionate about, enough that I am actually finishing up my bachelors degree in this field!! I really want to make a difference in the world by educating people and companies on how to live a more sustainable lifestyle and how it will not only benefit the earth itself but benefit our way of life.

A small little tid bit of information that I have learned this semester in school is that we are not just focusing on how it could benefit the earth but also how living a more sustainable life will also benefit our well being. I thought that was interesting, of course my actual degree will be a business degree so I am focused on how sustainability can be used to improve businesses, with any business the goal is to convince the consumer that their product will better your life. I am here to tell you that living a more zero waste lifestyle will for sure benefit your well being. And here is why …

You have to slow down in order to live this sort of lifestyle. There are so many ways you can cut back on things you are doing to be more eco friendly, maybe walk to work, make a lot of things at home, constantly be in a state of reflection, you name it. All of these things help with your quality of life. It also forces you to slow down.

A simpler life, I say that because that is the step I have been pondering a lot lately. I want a simpler life, in the sense of I do not have so many things to keep track of, I have one load of laundry I have to worry about. I do not have to do more than a couple dishes because I am forced to use only a couple since that is all I have. Only go to the store for a couple ingredients because the meals I cook are simple. Being zero waste means you only have what you need. You try not to waste anything. That really cuts back on the things you have.

All of these things matter to me, and the last thing I will mention that is just icing on the cake. How well the staff is paid and taken care of. We live in a world of convenience and want things fast and cheap, but we expect the things we buy to be excellent and luxurious. Unfortunately everything comes with a price, or a consequence. The price we pay for that item means that workers that are being treated unfairly and paid next to nothing. We may not see this first hand because this typically happens in another country, but just because you do not see it does not mean it is not happening. I am thankful that this issue is becoming more well known and more people are doing something about it. I will highlight at some point brands that are taking action because they deserve all the support!! They are doing good things, but in order for this issue to go away we need to speak up more about it and fight for their rights.

These are all things I reflect on in my life with the things I use and how I want to live my life. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post about what sustainability means to me, but I do not what you to miss that this is my thoughts after thinking for awhile about this topic and doing my research this is the conclusion I got. It is not the same for everyone, if this is something that interests you feel free to reach out and ask more questions. But do not forget to do what is best for you and your lifestyle. Thank you so much for reading and supporting Caleb and I on this journey called life. Hope to see you back here next week!!!

Non-toxic

Earth Friendly

We are going to switch gears here for a little bit, hope that is okay. We are going to start talking about another passion of mine. And that is sustainability, this post is going to be about how I was introduced to it, and the next one will be about what being sustainable means to me. So stay tuned for that, but without further explanation we are going to jump right in.

I was introduced to it when I lived in Washington State, they are overall more conscious about waste in general and protecting the earth. I really liked that and started to reflect on the things I buy and use and how much waste I produce. It was really disappointing to see that I waste a lot of stuff and buy things I do not need. Which not only hurts the environment but also hurts the bank account. It was very overwhelming when I started to look at how long this journey was going to take. The first instinct for me was to just throw everything away and start fresh. Start with some clean products that are packaged sustainably and also ethically made. Now that sounds good but doing something that impulsive could hurt the environment even more. The best course of action would be to use up EVERYTHING you have and slowly purchase things that are more sustainable/ethically made/clean. That is currently what I am doing. I have not changed my routines when it comes to hair products or skincare because that was another thing I thought about doing. Just using excessive amounts or doing things more often so I could get rid of things a lot faster, however, that is also not a great idea because that is wasting product. This also gives me plenty of time to look into other products and go in depth about where things are sourced, mission statement, if they are treating their staff well and things of the like. I will go into more depth about that in the next post.

I love research, it has always been something I enjoyed doing growing up. When I met my now fiancé Caleb, something he had told me was how his acne prone skin really bothered him. I was blessed with skin that did not really breakout all that much, I have definitely had my moments but it was very minor compared to other people. So I never really had to deal with research on skin because my skin was not that bad. However, when Caleb came into the picture I wanted to help him get the skin he felt comfortable in. So I dived into research, a lot of it had to do with what he was eating (he ate mostly chicken, rice and a vegetable every night for dinner), it was not that he had an unhealthy diet it was that it was not doing anything for him. He just cared about the calories (he wanted to eat as many calories as possible), but having a well balanced diet really does help improve skin. That is not the only thing I found though, I realized that a lot of skincare products have really harsh chemicals that can actually do more harm than good. It might help with the specific thing it says it will help with, but not in a safe way, and it could possibly create even more problems down the road. This scared me a little bit, I have always desired to live a healthy life and did not want to eat or do anything that could cause possible complications in the future. I wanted to get rid of everything I own and start fresh, but again I did not want to waste what I already had so decided that if it was to harm me it is already in my system so it would not harm me any more than it already has so should finish it up.

I will say this is not an easy lifestyle, it requires a lot of patience and A LOT of reflection. It has been a very long journey and can be quite challenging because so many brands say one thing but it is not necessarily true. That is why it is important to know where you draw the line, and what is most important to you and do not budge on that. You need to know your why (which I will discuss next time), and know that just because it is not easy does not mean it is not worth it. Living sustainably is becoming more and more popular, which is awesome because the more people that get involved the better chances we have at helping the earth thrive. However, there is a flip side, brands know this is becoming more popular and see it as a “trend” so they will promote their products and basically “greenwash” their stuff. If you know anything about living eco friendly then you have definitely seen that term before. There are brands out there that are really trying their best to create things as sustainably as possible but maybe the technology has not come out yet to really and truly be zero waste or they have figured out a way to be as eco friendly as possible but it is crazy expensive. I want to support them because they are trying to do things the right way, even if it is more convenient to go with the Walmart brand.

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post and stay tuned to read more about what sustainability means to me. It is something I have been passionate about and will share more about our journey into becoming more zero waste in the coming months. I love you guys and am so thankful you took the time to read!!

Religion

Our Logo

We created our logo for Simply Unland and thought it would be fun to explain the logo a bit since it is a bit abstract. This logo was actually created a long time ago, Caleb created it I think soon after we started dating. The colors were different, I think they were yellow, red, and blue. Definitely not as aesthetically pleasing but really loved the idea of the different elements. In this post we will explain why this is our logo and what it means to us.

The sun/Son: we both believe that Jesus is the Messiah, He is the light of the world. He is God’s one and only Son, who died on the cross for our sins. Without God Caleb and I would not have the boldness to create Simply Unland, heck we would not be alive without him. So it was very important that we included God into our logo.

The mountain: Caleb and I met at Glorieta New Mexico, which is in the mountains. But that also holds so near and dear to my heart. I found God really for the first time at Glorieta and also Colorado. I moved to Washington and tried to go to the mountains often, it was still and quiet so I was able to hear and feel God’s presence. I know God is with me wherever I go but the noise of the every day life makes it hard to hear and feel His presence.

The wave: this is all Caleb, I like beaches and swimming but also somewhat afraid of the ocean. However, sometimes I feel like Caleb has gills and fins because he can stay under water for forever and can swim super fast. Caleb also loves the sound of the waves and the stillness of the water. He says it is very peaceful, a place that is so mysterious and majestic, just like our Heavenly Father.

We are a very adventurous couple and love going out of our comfort zone and want Simply Unland to reflect that so I hope you guys enjoyed this little read, and continue to stay tuned for more content coming your way.

Personal

What makes us different ??

I am going to take a second to explain how this photo makes me feel. Because I am all about being real. When we were becoming friends something that we struggled with is communication. I am someone that communicates my emotions, I will tell you how I feel when I feel it and why I am feeling it. However, Caleb is a bit of a challenge to get to open up. I would talk with him for hours about things that I love and things that I don’t love and about my passions. I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY PASSIONS!!! And Caleb would just listen to me, he would ask thoughtful questions and cause me to dig deeper into my thoughts and feelings. He was really good at that, however, when it came time for him to share his heart and feelings with me he would shy away. This was so hard for me because it made me think he didn’t want to be close to me. But I did not want to make this about me so I told him ” I am right here, I promise.” I knew he needed to hear that. I was not going to leave him, I was going to wait till he was ready to talk. Now here we are, he talks to me, he shares his deepest thoughts, his dreams (even the weird ones lol) and his heart with me. When I think back on where we started and where we are now, that small time of waiting was so worth what we have now and I would do that all over again 100 times over to get to where we are.

Okay, now to the actual point to this blog post …

As we have been reflecting on our relationship to try and find meaning for this brand it has got me thinking about what makes us different?? Why are we working so hard to create Simply Unland?? What do we want our audience to get from this?? What can we do to contribute to advancing the Kingdom of God?? All valid questions that do not all have answers yet. But thought I would give answers to the questions we have figured out.

Let’s start with the silly things that you guys may not know about our relationship. For starters Caleb’s name in my phone is “Shy Little Potato” why might you ask?? He was trying to explain to me that he is really shy and that is the name he gave himself. We both have the same car just different year. We have RAV4’s that are red that we have named Ruby, and we love our cars so much lol. We have a couple sayings … “What would I do without you? Probably die or be really homeless” “That’s not buff, thats fluff!!” “when I (Caleb) texts a typo, I only fix it it its an easy to understand typo.” “Sharpest cookie in the tool jar” and lastly … “‘My (Kendall) face hurts’ ‘well its killing me (Caleb)!'” That was the first ever roast Caleb said to me.

Now for some deeper things, since the beginning Caleb and I have been very intentional (get used to seeing that word a lot) with our friendship. We talked about important things like values and what God has for us as individuals, thinking about that now seems so crazy because now we are thinking about what God has for us as a couple. Which is not very different from what He had for us as separate entities. We both heavily expressed our desire for marriage and for our marriage to be a ministry, even way back when we were not seeking out a relationship I felt a strong urge to talk about those subjects. I think I felt I was in a season of growth and really becoming my own person and just wanted to share what I was learning. I still get so excited when God shows something to me and Caleb is the first person I want to tell and we have so much fun talking about it and I feel that much closer to him and that much closer to God. It is such a beautiful thing.

Something we have always valued and have talked about since the beginning is our friends and family. We have so much love and support from them for all the things we are trying to accomplish. When it comes to what is most important to us our friends and family help us try to reach those things and helps us stick to what we say we are going to do. They help us create the marriage we want to create and they will keep us accountable as well. When it comes to Simply Unland we have gotten so much love from everyone that we know God is really pushing for us to keep dreaming and creating and pursuing this platform.

I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post I really enjoyed writing it, not gonna lie it brought tears to my eyes as I wrote this because it was real and raw. Thinking back to where Caleb and I were and how God moved through our relationship is just so beautiful. God is definitely not done with us yet so stick around and join us on our journey through life as we continue to prepare for marriage.

Personal

Giving Meaning to Simply Unland

A recurring habit of Kendall and mine is that we always try to do things perfectly correct. Save money the right way, spend it the right way, act the right way, love the right way. All to try and help others or keep the peace (she’s a 2 on the enneagram and I am a 9). In a broad sense, It can be scary to think “what if we did it the wrong way” or “what if we just jumped and took a chance on something for once, rather than taking carefully measured and calculated steps”. 

While there are times this mindset can hurt us some, there are also times when good things come out of it. Many times it causes us to slow down and think about the purpose behind things we want or do. While there is a fine line between wisely taking time to think and simply taking time because we are so afraid of making the wrong decision (so you don’t make one at all), we try to be intentional. You can read about how we started this relationship intentionally HERE, or how we strive to continually make it intentional HERE. It is a recurring theme in our lives. 

When it comes to our little side project, Simply Unland, we want to do the same thing… be intentional.

Check out our instagram HERE

Why start Simply Unland? 

What are our goals and dreams? Why spend extra time on this? What do we aim to do? Why do we aim to do it? What is our mission?

At first, Kendall and I created Simply Unland for a few reasons. 

  1. Allows our families to stay up to date with us and what’s going on
  2. It gives us a chance to be creative in our own lives, sharing what we learn to one day look back and see how God has been at work
  3. Allow other people to learn from us and our experiences, make them feel not alone in whatever they are going through. 

As this little journey we are calling “Simply Unland” continues, we are doing what we do. We are taking some time to make sure we have the right heart behind it. Taking time to define our why and what. Then digging deeper into that. We want to search our hearts to make sure this is something we want to do. We want to do it for the same reasons above, but especially to reflect our values. We want to have a heart to share so even when/if nobody ever looks at our stuff, we still have a reason of our own to keep going. This seems all too easy for Kendall (probably because she’s a total boss at everything she does), but for me is taking time. Time, prayer, and an open heart, asking God what His will is. We know He has a plan for us and we want to be so open and ready for whatever that plan is. 

While it would be nice if someday, we made some sort of revenue stream from the little side projects we do, we don’t need that. We have our hearts set on seeking what God has for us and simply sharing our thoughts and selves.

We originally planned on sharing our step by step process and conclusions this week but really wanted to intentionally take our time (gotta stick to our theme here ;)). In an upcoming post, we will discuss our priorities, values, beliefs, purpose, and mission of Simply Unland (and Kendall and I). Make sure you check back soon!

Personal

Strands

This week I was going to write about pride because it is something I struggle with but as I lay in bed I realize that God is telling me something else that I should write about. For the last couple of months I have really been trying to dive deep into what God has for my future marriage. What is going to be our mission as a couple and what can we do now to prepare for that mission. And something He spoke to me was strands binding us together. I will explain in more detail what that means in a second but first here is a quote that I got from a book I was reading.

If one of us likes anything there must be something to like in it – and the other one must find it … that way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together, then we shall be so close that it would be impossible, unthinkable – for either of us to suppose that we could ever recreate such closeness with anyone else, and our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty but on the fact of a thousand sharings – a thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable.

A love letter life

A little disclaimer the book I read this from pulled this quote from another book but I do not remember what that book was called.

When I read this I was blown away because I want that kind of closeness with my husband and I want that kind of loyalty but what does that look like in my relationship and how can we get so close that we have a thousand strands binding us together? A couple of things came to mind . . .

Intentionality

Being intentional with each other can go a very long way. Both Caleb and I are so busy with work, school, and trying to be healthy that we get into routines and forget to love on each other and be spontaneous and pursue each other. Finding ways to love the other person in the ways they feel most love will help stay connected. Some examples, Caleb LOVES the Star Wars movies and I do not like them, but finding time to sit and watch that with him will mean a couple things. One, it would be relaxing and two, it will make him feel loved because I dedicated two-ish hours to watching a movie I would not have typically watched. Here is the thing though, I can’t just watch it, I know there must be something to like about it, and I have got to find it. That is binding a strand together. While I may not be as passionate about some things, that does not mean I should just accept it as a difference. I should be willing and excited to find something in it to be closer to him.

Change

Be willing to change and grow within the relationship. We are to become one in every way possible, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically we are going to be one being. In order to do that we have to be willing to change and grow in our relationship. Not in a bad way though, when you are with someone you should want to become a better person for them, because they just bring that out in you. We can always do better, be better, we are not perfect. However, as we are learning to become one there are things that can help us twist those strands together. That might be playing baseball together because Caleb loves baseball, or reading a book together because I love to read. Or a common ground we have is health and wellness, but going deeper and create our own workouts together. Allow the other person to change you a little bit. Allow God to work in you and learn to love well.

This is a little tidbit into what my brain has been processing lately, please let me know in the comments some things you could do that you might not want to do for your spouse so you can create a rope of a thousand strands together. `

Financial

Financial Mindsets

Kendall and I are fairly different when it comes to finances. I have been saving for a car, house, and the future since I was 7 years old. If I get money, my primary instinct is to put it somewhere to save it (whether that be a bank or swanky jar or whatever). 

Spending money on other people is a lot easier than it is for me to spend it on myself. Often, if I want something, I have to convince myself that I have earned it in some way. There are times of regret when I spend $20 on something silly or go out to eat and later regret it because that little amount of money could have gone towards something like our wedding, a house, bills, or helping others. Kendall on the other hand has worked hard for her earnings and is a lot more comfortable spending. (Credit where credit is due, she’s been killin it lately… like a #BOSS. Working hard and saving so much of it).

Our current saving jar from Goodwill! Put lots of work into it

Lately we have been dreaming and planning. We are in school, prepping for the wedding (obviously), saving for future housing, wanting to travel more soon. Lots of things to look forward to. Really exciting things, cause life is great! But… they all cost so much. Me thinking about finances can be a huge cloud over exciting dreams. When dreaming, a big question came to mind:

How do I reconcile spending money on myself when there are more important things or people that need it? 

I asked this question to the one and only Daniel Brown (a friend and I’m sure there are several Daniel Browns in the world, but he is the realest Daniel Brown). He pointed out, while God does want us to donate or use money to help, while God does want us to be good stewards and save or invest, money is also a tool that can be used to enjoy His creation. 

What exactly does God tell us about money?

There are over 2,000 Bible verses that discuss money and finances, all with varying points. Below are a few of the recurring points I have picked out!

We should recognize that God made the world, everything in it is His.

Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me. Exodus 19:5

Who has given me anything that I need to pay back? Everything under heaven is mine. Job 41:11

Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. For we know it is made acceptable by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:4-5

Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath. Deuteronomy 8:18

“The earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein” Psalm 24:1

We are called to not love money.

Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit. In the blink of an eye wealth disappears, for it will sprout wings and fly away like an eagle. Proverbs 23:4-5, 

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:10

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. Matthew 6:24

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. Luke 12:34

Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time. Proverbs 13:11

Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you. Hebrews 13:5

“Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.” Proverbs 3:9-10

We are called to be content. 

 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. Luke 16:10 

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. Philippians 4:11-12

“If they listen and obey God, they will be blessed with prosperity throughout their lives.All their years will be pleasant. Job 36:1

Fear of the Lord leads to life, bringing security and protection from harm. Proverbs 19:23

It is better to be godly and have little than to be evil and rich. For the strength of the wicked will be shattered, but the Lord takes care of the godly. Psalm 37:16-17

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Matthew 6:25-27

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Greed causes fighting; trusting the Lord leads to prosperity. Proverbs 28:25

Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness! Ecclesiastes 5:10

We are called to work hard.

Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time. Proverbs 13:11

Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1 

John replied, “Don’t extort money or make false accusations. And be content with your pay.” Luke 3:14

And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:35

Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. 1 Peter 5:2-3

Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get rich. Proverbs 10:4

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Colossians 3:23

We are called to be generous.

“You must not exploit a widow or an orphan. ‍Exodus 22:22

‍If you lend money to any of my people who are in need, do not charge interest as a money lender would. Exodus 22:25 

Do not charge interest on the loans you make to a fellow Israelite, whether you loan money, or food, or anything else. Deuteronomy 23:19

When you beat the olives from your olive trees, don’t go over the boughs twice. Leave the remaining olives for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Deuteronomy 24:20

When you beat the olives from your olive trees, don’t go over the boughs twice. Leave the remaining olives for the foreigners, orphans, and widows. Luke 12:33

Greedy people try to get rich quick but don’t realize they’re headed for poverty. Proverbs 28:22

The wicked borrow and never repay, but the godly are generous givers. Psalm 37:21

A Christian, Financial Mindset

We should work in a way that honors God and would make Him proud. Be an example to others. Everything under heaven is His (including money). We should be content with what he entrusts us with, if we can’t be trusted with little, why would He entrust us with more? We should show love and worship God through our giving through tithing and donating. There are many verses throughout the Bible I didn’t use that tell us more about money. Telling us we should diversify investments, make a budget, be less risky as we get older. While those are all good and great and useful, sometimes simple reminders take that cloud away from dreams.

God is going to provide. If we obey, He will provide. “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?” Matthew 6:26. I am not sure about you, but birds seem pretty happy to me! I need these constant reminders. But God is great and life is great!

Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others. By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.

1 Timothy 6:17-19