Category: Religion

Mental

Hustle Up… Slow Down

Alright now that you understand all the reflection that has been going on lately I am going to talk about something a little heavy. A little honest, and for sure a lot hard.

So this month Caleb and I went home (to Houston which is where I am from) and visited my family. My niece was turning one so we wanted to be there to celebrate and also be there for my sister as this was a milestone for her and her husband. Was it a stress free, relaxing trip?? In some ways it was for sure. In others, not so much. However it was just what I needed. It was out of the ordinary and I did not have to work at all!! It was hard when I had to say goodbye, but knew I would see some of my family again really soon so left hopeful for the next visit. During this time though Caleb and I felt like decisions had to be made and they had to be made quickly. Important ones, like where are we going to live?? Who is going to be working?? What happens if we get pregnant unexpectedly?? How are we going to be able to afford our life?? etc. All things that felt almost crippling to us. I mean I just finished a season of working nonstop for weeks, I was drowning and feeling empty and knew that this was not the life God wanted for me or for us. I was desperate for a break, and oh did He give me one, but not in the ways that I was expecting.

Once I got back from our trip I felt refreshed. This was not what I was expecting to feel, especially since we had been in the car entirely too long and felt more defeated about all the decisions we still needed to make. But we had absolutely no idea where to begin with these decisions. Over the course of the coming days God had been working on both of our hearts, telling us the very same thing but the other person had no idea. And that was … the importance of slowing down. God showed me as I was reflecting on what sustainability means to me for an upcoming blog post and He showed Caleb through a podcast that he listens too.

For me I was just sitting on my bed thinking about some things I could cut out of my life that I do not need and it just hit me. I cannot seem to remember when I had time to just sit on my bed and think, it was so peaceful and so calming. I felt the Lord’s presence and was comforted, I tear up every time I think of that moment. Why does something so simple and mundane make me so emotional?? Because it reminded me of where I was before that, it reminded me how lonely I felt during those times of working non stop, and how hopeless I felt that I would never reach the goals I set in my life. But in that moment on my bed I felt the Lord telling me that it was okay, this is not the life He has for me. He never meant for me to live this kind of lifestyle especially on my own.. as comforting as it would be to have all the answers for Caleb and I’s future it is not something God wants to reveal to us yet. And that within itself was so freeing, because that lifts up the burdens that we put on ourselves.

Something that I love so much about Caleb is that he likes to dream, and the really cool thing is that I love to dream too!! It does however make things so hard when we are trying to figure out where we are going to live or what our dream jobs are and how we are possibly going to reach our HUGE goals we are setting for ourselves. To make things even more amazing is that we trust God with those big dreams we have for ourselves, I used to keep my dreams to myself because they were just too big. There was no way that any of my dreams would ever come true… however one of them is about to come true!! IN 4 MONTHS I WILL MARRY MY BEST FRIEND!! That within itself has been a dream for as long as I could possibly remember. You cannot possibly tell me that God is too small for the big dreams that you might have. He has proven to me over and over again that He is a BIG God and He can do the impossible. You just have to trust Him.

Nothing has been decided, we still have no idea where we are going to end up, but I am so happy where I am. I am actively slowing down, trying to live a more simple life. In time God will provide us with the answers we need. We just need to trust Him and keep trusting Him. I love you guys and hope you take some time to rest and reflect on where you are and where God might need you to be.

Religion

Our Logo

We created our logo for Simply Unland and thought it would be fun to explain the logo a bit since it is a bit abstract. This logo was actually created a long time ago, Caleb created it I think soon after we started dating. The colors were different, I think they were yellow, red, and blue. Definitely not as aesthetically pleasing but really loved the idea of the different elements. In this post we will explain why this is our logo and what it means to us.

The sun/Son: we both believe that Jesus is the Messiah, He is the light of the world. He is God’s one and only Son, who died on the cross for our sins. Without God Caleb and I would not have the boldness to create Simply Unland, heck we would not be alive without him. So it was very important that we included God into our logo.

The mountain: Caleb and I met at Glorieta New Mexico, which is in the mountains. But that also holds so near and dear to my heart. I found God really for the first time at Glorieta and also Colorado. I moved to Washington and tried to go to the mountains often, it was still and quiet so I was able to hear and feel God’s presence. I know God is with me wherever I go but the noise of the every day life makes it hard to hear and feel His presence.

The wave: this is all Caleb, I like beaches and swimming but also somewhat afraid of the ocean. However, sometimes I feel like Caleb has gills and fins because he can stay under water for forever and can swim super fast. Caleb also loves the sound of the waves and the stillness of the water. He says it is very peaceful, a place that is so mysterious and majestic, just like our Heavenly Father.

We are a very adventurous couple and love going out of our comfort zone and want Simply Unland to reflect that so I hope you guys enjoyed this little read, and continue to stay tuned for more content coming your way.

Personal

What makes us different ??

I am going to take a second to explain how this photo makes me feel. Because I am all about being real. When we were becoming friends something that we struggled with is communication. I am someone that communicates my emotions, I will tell you how I feel when I feel it and why I am feeling it. However, Caleb is a bit of a challenge to get to open up. I would talk with him for hours about things that I love and things that I don’t love and about my passions. I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY PASSIONS!!! And Caleb would just listen to me, he would ask thoughtful questions and cause me to dig deeper into my thoughts and feelings. He was really good at that, however, when it came time for him to share his heart and feelings with me he would shy away. This was so hard for me because it made me think he didn’t want to be close to me. But I did not want to make this about me so I told him ” I am right here, I promise.” I knew he needed to hear that. I was not going to leave him, I was going to wait till he was ready to talk. Now here we are, he talks to me, he shares his deepest thoughts, his dreams (even the weird ones lol) and his heart with me. When I think back on where we started and where we are now, that small time of waiting was so worth what we have now and I would do that all over again 100 times over to get to where we are.

Okay, now to the actual point to this blog post …

As we have been reflecting on our relationship to try and find meaning for this brand it has got me thinking about what makes us different?? Why are we working so hard to create Simply Unland?? What do we want our audience to get from this?? What can we do to contribute to advancing the Kingdom of God?? All valid questions that do not all have answers yet. But thought I would give answers to the questions we have figured out.

Let’s start with the silly things that you guys may not know about our relationship. For starters Caleb’s name in my phone is “Shy Little Potato” why might you ask?? He was trying to explain to me that he is really shy and that is the name he gave himself. We both have the same car just different year. We have RAV4’s that are red that we have named Ruby, and we love our cars so much lol. We have a couple sayings … “What would I do without you? Probably die or be really homeless” “That’s not buff, thats fluff!!” “when I (Caleb) texts a typo, I only fix it it its an easy to understand typo.” “Sharpest cookie in the tool jar” and lastly … “‘My (Kendall) face hurts’ ‘well its killing me (Caleb)!'” That was the first ever roast Caleb said to me.

Now for some deeper things, since the beginning Caleb and I have been very intentional (get used to seeing that word a lot) with our friendship. We talked about important things like values and what God has for us as individuals, thinking about that now seems so crazy because now we are thinking about what God has for us as a couple. Which is not very different from what He had for us as separate entities. We both heavily expressed our desire for marriage and for our marriage to be a ministry, even way back when we were not seeking out a relationship I felt a strong urge to talk about those subjects. I think I felt I was in a season of growth and really becoming my own person and just wanted to share what I was learning. I still get so excited when God shows something to me and Caleb is the first person I want to tell and we have so much fun talking about it and I feel that much closer to him and that much closer to God. It is such a beautiful thing.

Something we have always valued and have talked about since the beginning is our friends and family. We have so much love and support from them for all the things we are trying to accomplish. When it comes to what is most important to us our friends and family help us try to reach those things and helps us stick to what we say we are going to do. They help us create the marriage we want to create and they will keep us accountable as well. When it comes to Simply Unland we have gotten so much love from everyone that we know God is really pushing for us to keep dreaming and creating and pursuing this platform.

I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post I really enjoyed writing it, not gonna lie it brought tears to my eyes as I wrote this because it was real and raw. Thinking back to where Caleb and I were and how God moved through our relationship is just so beautiful. God is definitely not done with us yet so stick around and join us on our journey through life as we continue to prepare for marriage.

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Our Progress

In this post I will just give an update on Caleb and I’s relationship. We have been in the same living quarters for a little over 2 months now. It seems like it has been way longer than that but also it seems like it hasn’t. If you are just now discovering our journey here I will give you a quick summary of our relationship . . .

Caleb and I have been together a year and a half or maybe a little longer than that. We did long distance for the majority of our relationship then got engaged November of last year. After that we decided that once we got married we would put down some roots in Indiana (where he is from) so I decided to move to Indiana and live with him and his family.

Now it has been two ish months and to be honest it has been a little bumpy. We are both creatures of habit and love routine. When I moved here I had to learn to adjust to his family while also creating my own routine. His family has been amazing and patient with me as I learn how everyone’s schedule works and how I will fit into all of that. I got a job and then less than a month later got another job and then a week or so later I started school. My schedule kept changing and I was having a hard time adjusting let alone find time for Caleb and I’s relationship so our communication suffered and our intentional time was almost nonexistent which made the process even harder for me because I felt alone and didn’t know how to communicate to Caleb what I needed because I didn’t have time to figure that out for myself.

Then family came into town and I was not prepared, I was so busy trying to adjust, and time just got away from me and suddenly they were here. Caleb was such a champ in helping me figure out how I was going to move my schedule around so I had more time with them. Of course it was not perfect (will share my family’s visit in next blog) But God knew what He was doing and we all had such a good time. It was very exhausting but I was able to see Caleb in a new light. He was so patient with me and encouraging and helped me in so many ways, he was there with my family when I had to work, he helped me with work and hanging out with my family. God revealed some things to me about him that I had not seen in a while and it was exciting and I felt very close to him. We may not have had time to spend a lot of intentional time just the two of us but I feel very close to him and enjoyed seeing him with my family.

I think it took all the chaos for God to show me that He is still working in our relationship, that we are not perfect but we are making it work. God is preparing us for marriage right now, I have been so worried that we won’t ever have time for us but when it really counts I know that Caleb would drop everything to help me, he will go above and beyond to make sure I felt safe and felt good about myself. I would not be able to juggle all this work and school without him. I mean I probably could but God put Caleb in my life so I would not have to do it all alone.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

As we are both going through a season of adjusting and growing together it is important that we focus on being gentle and patient because as brothers and sisters of Christ we should treat each other as such. The more we are patient with each other the easier it will be for us to communicate what we need from the other person. We also have to realize that we are both transitioning and we show that differently, so we should be gentle and understanding that we need time to figure things out. The last thing is to be humble in the fact that we are both uncomfortable in a way. This is new for both of us and we have to relearn each other, learn our habits, learn our boundaries, and really just learn how to live life together and that just takes time.

During our time with my family we were more willing to show each other gentleness, patience, and also be humbled by the other person because we were out of our normal routine and we both had to go with the flow (which is something I have a hard time doing). Caleb was a champion on this trip and I was able to rely on him and that was very humbling because I do not have to do things on my own in fact God calls us to do things together. “Bear with one another in love” we are to go through things together and “bear” it together. That was the missing component I feel like, we were both trying to do things alone.

Personal

God’s Promise

I have been staring at an empty document trying to come up with something to write about for two months I feel like. I have too many ideas when I am away from the computer then forget when I finally sit down and dedicate time to writing. Then I think I have nothing to offer but God has been sharing so much with me during this season of life and I decided that I am going to share that with you.

I have been reading Genesis for awhile now and something that stands out is how time and time again God is faithful and keeps His promises. Despite our lack of faith and despite the fact that we want things to happen like now. Abraham wanted to have children but Sarah was barren . . God said that Abraham will be the father of nations, but Abraham did not believe so he went and had a baby with Sarah’s servant Haggar, fast forward a couple chapters . . now Abraham and Sarah have a kid and he has been blessed by God, and Haggai and her son had to flee (fact check that). 

When we don’t trust God other people may get hurt. That hits a little too close to home for me. I don’t think I ever trusted God when it came to my love life. I knew that God put the desires to be married and have a family in my heart. I knew that that was Him promising me that I will be married and we will make our marriage a ministry and my husband would have the same values as me. However, I had no faith that that man even existed. So I took things into my own hands, I ended up hurting people and compromised too much of myself for people God never wanted me to be with to begin with. That ended up hurting me in ways that I will never forget but I hurt those people because I did not trust God’s plan for my life. Because of Abraham and Sarah’s decision Haggar’s life was forever changed, God still redeemed that situation and spoke to Haggar and He helped keep her and her son alive in the desert. As for my story . . .

Over and over again I did not trust God and ended up with the wrong men (what I mean by that is that they were not meant for me and I them). I even believe God spoke to me about walking away from relationships but I was too scared to be alone for the rest of my life. I started to believe that I did not deserve the man God had me dreaming about. I didn’t listen to Him and that ended up making the breakups even harder than they needed to be. Me feeling more rejected or more disappointed and also wasting so much time because that meant I would have to start over again. Build up another relationship and work that much harder to find the one. If only I had listened to God then maybe I would have met Caleb sooner . . . If I had listened to God sooner than maybe I would have avoided hurting more people or suffering myself . . if only . . God is bigger than my “what if”s He is so much bigger than that. I am so lucky to have such a Mighty God on my side. He turns sorrow and pain into redemption. I believe that with my whole heart, my story is not done yet and neither are those men.

Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised, Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.

Genesis 21:1-2

I am engaged to a man who shares so many of the same values as me, he wants the same future as me. We are both passionate about marriage and want to strive to be living representations of Christ’s love for the church and the church’s submission to Christ. We are not perfect by all means but God promised me a man that was so passionate about marriage, He promised me a man that loved family and so many other things . . and boy did He deliver. Was it all that I expected, no I could not have thought all this up in my wildest dreams. When I met Caleb I was not ready for another relationship, I wanted so much for that summer at Glorieta (If you do not know how we met, click here ). But definitely not another relationship, however God had other plans. Sounds kind of like Abraham and Sarah, they did not think that God would provide them with a son who would one day rule nations at their old age!! They were hopeless, she was well passed the age to have the patience to raise a child much less give birth to a baby!! But God provided, He kept His word and Isaac ended up ruling nations. Do not worry friends, God is not done with you yet and do not lose hope that God had forgotten what He has promised you. I assure you He has not forgotten.

Religion

Are You Patient

As Christians, a priority in our lives should be having a life full of love. From loving our spouse to loving our enemies, we have been commanded to love. But what is love really? How can we truly know when everybody seems to have their own ways of showing it or defining it? The Bible is the greatest love story ever told. By looking in the Word, there is clear insight to the idea of love. God is love and has given us a perfect example of what love looks like through His son Jesus! If we make up our own definitions of “Love”, we are also making up our own version of who God is. That is obviously not right. Taking a look at 1 Corinthians, the characteristics of love are actually spelled out for us! 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

The Virtue of Patience

Could you define the word “Patient” if I asked you, without giving an example? In today’s world, the word “Patient” is an adjective (meaning it describes something). It is defined as “able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious”. However… that is what the world tells us today, but not what the Bible says about love and not in that time. In 1 Corinthians 13:4, the word “Patient” is a verb (an action word, a call to action). The Greek word for “Patient” here is “makrothumeó” and it means both “to persevere, to be patient”. To me, this is intriguing for a couple reasons.

  1. To be patient and persevere in our patience is a call to action (rather than just a description of who we should be)
  2. When we define Love with 1 Corinthians, Love is both patient (verse 4) and it perseveres (verse 8). Defining Patient in this verse’s context means the exact same thing. When we are practicing patience, we are loving and practicing love. 

Are you Patient? When the lines at the grocery store are long. When you were ready to go 20 minutes ago but are still waiting on your loved ones. When you are doing the dishes but people keep bringing you more. When the light turns green but the person in front of you is on their phone. When that child screams nonstop for no apparent reason. When you want something to change about your significant other but no matter what, they just don’t change.

If love is Patient but we are not, how could we possibly love to the best of our abilities?

Love “always perseveres” and love “is Patient”. While the scenarios above might test our patience at times, it is something we can always work on and strive to persevere in. 

How to Gain Patience

  1. Keep in Step with Spirit 

Before Jesus was arrested and taken to Golgotha to hang on a cross for our sins, Jesus and his disciples shared the Last Supper. Here, Jesus told his disciples he is going to send an advocate to be with us… the Holy Spirit (John 14). Just before Jesus’ ascension (after his death and resurrection) the disciples received the Holy Spirit. Shortly after that event, at the Pentecost, all believers received the Holy Spirit. To this day, we still have the Holy Spirit with us to comfort, encourage, advocate, and help!  If we walk with the Spirit and “keep in step” (Galatians 5) we learn to bear the fruit of the spirit. One of these fruits is Patience. As we keep in step and learn to live more like Jesus, we become more like him.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience…” Galatians 5:22. 

  1. Find Joy In The Wait

While we wait patiently, it can be helpful if the waiting period seems to have a purpose. Whether you are waiting for the car in front of you to start driving or you’re waiting to hear back from the doctor. Work your wait. In all circumstances, seek out an opportunity to learn and grow in your wisdom and your relationship with God. In all circumstances, He has already saved you because His love for you is so great. He loves hearing from you, why not pray and spend that time with Him. Do something beneficial while you wait and find joy in the God that is willing to die for you. 

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him” Lamentations 3:25

  1. Look to the Son

We have been given an advocate through the Holy Spirit, yes. We also have a 66 book love letter (the Bible) that is an example to us. God sent us His son, Jesus, and we have records of how to love and how to be patient because of His Example. With crowds following Jesus everywhere he went and disciples that seem to never learn or understand, Jesus is clearly a professional at patience. Much like keeping in step with the Spirit, spend time in the Word learning. How can you be more like Jesus today? How can you be more patient today?

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,  not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” 2 Peter 3:9

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Intentional Conversations for Dating Christians

Kendall and I have a different story than a lot of people. Up to about 1 month ago, it has been a story full of text messages, facetimes, and intentional conversations. We knew our situation and understood it was going to be difficult, but wanted to do our best to make our time apart valuable. That’s where intentionality came in. Not just intentional with the time we tried to give each other, but also the topics of our conversations.

Defining: Intentional Conversation

Because Intentional conversations are… intentional, we wanted to give it an intentional meaning. These discussions are done on purpose and for a purpose. That means although we talked just about every night, we would set time aside later in the week to talk about a specific topic. Setting up a time and day later that same week was intentional and helpful for a few reasons. 

  1. It allowed us to pray and practice Psalm 139:23-24 which says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
  2. It allowed us time to question and search ourselves
  3. It allowed us to do research so we can grow in our knowledge

When we came back together to have this conversation, we aimed to be honest with God, with ourselves, and with each other. Being transparent for success in the relationship. This would shed some light on how compatible we were. As more and more topics were discussed, we knew each other more and more. While we did have that initial attraction, we didn’t want to mess around. We dove into these conversations pretty quick to make sure this was even something that would work for a lifetime. It was during these talks we grew deeper and realized just about all of our core values were the same or very similar. 

What to Talk About

Conversations about values, goals, dreams were paramount in the early days of our relationship, even before we were “official”. Then taking these topics and breaking them down to why we have these views. 

In Kendall and I’s situation, these conversations included topics such as our relationship with God, family dynamics (present and dreams for the future), importance of community, schooling, future careers, the type of life we want to live. Our relationship with God was the priority for both of us and will always be, even a priority over our spouse when we’re married. Many of our core values and beliefs, we found, are the same because of our foundation in the Word and what we know to be true. 

When you find a topic of interest, as you wait for that scheduled, intentional conversation, dig deep into it. Ask God to search your heart and point out anything that He wants you to see. Ask yourself hard questions as you answer. Why do you view this topic like this? Where did it begin? Is that right? What makes it right? What does God say about it in His Word?

Here is a short list of questions to help get you started:

  • What things has God repeatedly taught you throughout your walk with Him?
  • How has your family shaped you into the person you are today?
  • What are some hard times from your past? What makes them hard?
  • What makes you feel most supported during hard times?
  • What are some things that bring you joy in life? 
  • If you have to order from most to least important… what’s the order (Faith, Family, Community, Career, Education)? Why this order?
  • What characteristics do you dream your future spouse has?
  • What are some things about yourself personally, that you are working on right now?

How to Talk About It

When the time has come, start off on the right foot. “How do you do that?” you ask yourself. Fantastic question. Show up on time, show up ready (so do the work that I talked about above), and pray together, asking God to bless the time and make it a fruitful conversation. Whether it’s at their home, over the phone, on a dinner date… it does not matter.

When the other person is talking, listen to them fully. As Paul tells us to “walk” in Ephesians 4:2-3, listen “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Try to understand them and where they are coming from. Love them as they are being vulnerable and thank them for trusting you. Do your best to understand through asking questions. Ask how God has worked in their life through that topic. Ask how they can work to be better at it. Ask how you can help if need be. Be open, honest, real, and create an environment where they feel they can be all those things as well.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching”. Hebrews 10:24-25